dimanche 4 février 2007

non, rien de rien, mais alors rien



Une historiette...

Marin, il ne fermait jamais sa gueule, même lorsqu’il faisait des guilis-guilis à sa vache. Sa grosse vache, pas Margueritte, l’autre, Astrid. Une vraie vache laitière qui aurait pu inonder la forêt amazonienne à coup de lacté, mais qui s’en tenait à déverser la boisson d’Isis dans le saut de sa brave bête d’éleveur. Margueritte n’était que sa femme. Non qu’il ne lui tâtasse pas le mamelon le samedi soir après la crème brûlée, mais sa gésine demeurait rétive au breuvage. La ratonne, qu’il pensait, la petite croûteuse qui me laisserait crever de soif, ah l’égoïste ! « T’iras pas au paradis ! » il disait. Bof, il se réconfortait avec Astrid, la générosité faite bovidé, le mutisme en plus qui la rendait si réconfortante, Astrid, le point de non retour c’est quand je te regarde droit dans la mamelle… Astrid, ma veilleuse de secours, ma trinité conceptuelle, ma sève goulue, ma prophétie incantatoire…
Au village, Marin n’était pas respecté. C’est ballot, mais le monde est ainsi fait que certains ne sont que la bouse des autres. Les gens du plat pays, en plus d’être de parfaits idiots, étaient tous aussi railleurs les uns que les autres, et de voir ce sinistre couillu amoureux de sa vache, ils s’en pourléchaient jusqu’au bas ventre. « Marin ! Et le prêtre c’est pour quand ? » « Marin, t’arrives à la monter sur des échasses ?! » « Marin, comment qu’elle va ta grosse ? » A cette dernière question, on ne savait tout simplement pas si la grosse désignait Astrid ou Margueritte. Marin avait pris le parti de l’indifférence, se contentant de répondre pour l’une comme pour l’autre « Elle est goulue ! »...

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